Grief and Loss

When someone passes away, the grief is overwhelming. We carry grief around for a long time and cling to all precious memories with that person.

We lose a loved one when he/she dies and a second time when we finally let go. But letting go takes a long time; each person carries this grief into every facet of life for a long time. The longer you have lived with this person, the longer and more difficult the grieving period is.

When I lost my mom four years ago, my grieving was as profound as the deepest oceanic trench. My mom lived with us my entire life except for two years when we were separated by a large ocean. By contrast, I only lived in my dad’s house for twenty years. When he died, at the age of sixty-one, the pain was equally profound. He had sacrificed himself for the good of our family and for the good of the extended family.

Each person goes through the five stages of grief in vastly different circumstances. People experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance in their own personal way. One never knows when a part of grieving comes and goes because, most importantly, there is no timeline for grieving.

Sadness, anger, guilt, fear, and confusion come and go, alternating in intensity. Insomnia, headaches, and fatigue can be quite intense in some. Concentration falters and people forget things that are less important to them when compared to their painful loss. Some cry a lot [like me], withdraw from daily life or from things that had given them satisfaction and pleasure previously, and change routine.

People grieve over the loss of loved ones, health, illness, friendship, ability, mobility, security, divorce, separation, and an empty nest.