The Corona-19 Virus is Cunning and Discriminating

 

As a logical person, I am in awe that this Corona-19 virus is so brilliant – it knows exactly when to strike the unexpected. No worries though, the governors of some states are even smarter, they have curfews in place to prevent their citizens from being unnecessarily attacked by this cunning virus. Apparently, citizens are no longer capable of taking care of themselves and must let daddy-government tell them exactly what to do to protect themselves from this viral menace.

To avoid wearing your own bacteria-infested mask to the grocery store, I suggest an uncomplicated move – claim gubernatorial exemption for CS or CSL. I have not used it myself, but I was told by some who tried CS that it worked. What is CS and CSL, you ask? CS is a condition that many no longer harbor, Common Sense, and CSL is even rarer still, Common Sense and Logic.

The Corona-19 virus is also very discriminating, it knows not to attack humans whose fingers touch the payment keypads covered in plastic, they only contaminate fingers that touch the keypad directly. Amazing!

The governors whose jobs are to protect the people at all costs, know to close bars at exactly 9 p.m. or else the clever Corona-19 virus, which becomes viciously contagious a minute past that time, would kill us all.

And the grocery store cashiers no longer pack our groceries for fear of spreading the Corona-19 virus through contact. But the packers took the food out of a box to place it on a shelf, the baker mixed the dough that made the bread, customers come and go touching the merchandise, putting it back when they change their minds, the food gets placed by customers on the conveyor belt, and the cashier picks it up and scans it. How many hands have touched the precious food we bought? It is impossible to count or estimate, yet they refuse to pack our groceries in a paper or plastic bag. Order groceries online and they pack them neatly, going through several hands before being dropped on your doorstep.

A young man at the park reaches from his booth to the car window with a fishing net, collecting the money that has been already handled by the driver and possibly thousands of other hands if it is cash, and then touches it when he brings the net into his booth. Does it make any sense? Of course not, but he suffers from the same extreme condition of Irrational Panic and Fear Syndrome (IPFS).

At the McDonald’s drive-thru, my bag of food is presented on a tray and a hand also extends a scanner so I can scan the credit card myself, without the cashier touching it. He does not want to touch my food because of Covid-19, he says, we must be safe and stay healthy. I hear this phrase every time I encounter another human being. But the cook has already grilled my food and touched it numerous times, someone wrapped it, and touched it again when it was placed in a bag. The virus is so clever that it knows not to attack in those intermediate handling steps.

People meet and greet by bumping or tapping elbows. Seems like ages ago, we were told to cough and sneeze in our sleeves, it is much more sanitary. So, the virus discriminates and does not attach to a sleeve or an elbow and never transmits during tapping of elbows. Viruses must know that hand shaking, and hugs are the way to jump from person to person.

The most interesting environment for viruses must be restaurants. The person must wear a mask from the door to the table, which can be as close as 6 feet away because the virus knows you are all exposed during that space and it will float directly to you and infect you. Once you sit down, your air space is safe, and the mother ship will not get sick. The virus does not dare invade the space around and above your table. Never mind that the air conditioning ducts are circulating and blowing air and so are the fans above.

Benches have been removed from all department stores and even chairs are roped off. The blue benches around Walmart are taped with signs stating that, because of Covid-19, nobody can sit down. This smart virus knows when a person is resting for a few minutes and will jump at the opportunity to infect him/her. But at a pub, you are not allowed to stand and drink. The virus then knows you are drinking alcohol and thus a prime target for infection. Park benches are also taped and off limits to strollers.

Protesting and rioting shoulder to shoulder of thousands of people is a scary environment to a virus. Corona-19 does not dare show its face. But in churches and meetings of more than 10 people, the virus can be quite deadly.

The Corona-19 virus does not seem to mind or care about the crowds shopping at Walmart. A mass of humanity bumps into each other all the time, wearing a flimsy mask that the virus flies through any time it wants but it chooses instead to leave people alone. It might be a good idea to hold family reunions and church services on isle 28 at Walmart.

Life is upside down and bizarre right now, made so by people who suffer of an acute case of Irrational Panic and Fear Syndrome (IPFS) and by “important” people and power-mad politicians who get up every morning thinking of more novel and draconian ways to control and manipulate the masses because they can. For logical and rational people life is insufferable right now.