Tell them you want to get
pencil and paper and walk slowly away from the phone. Take your time while they
are on hold. Your call is important to them and they are not going to hang up.
When you return, ask the operator some very good and important questions:
-
How much do my
deductibles cost?
-
Is my doctor so
and so on the list of approved doctors?
-
Is my hospital on
the list?
-
How much are my
deductibles for office visits, drugs, physical therapy, and hospital stays?
-
Do I get a single
room or a ward?
-
I thought
Obamacare was free?
-
Do I have to stop
smoking right away?
-
Can I still party
and get drunk every weekend?
-
Can I ingest as
much salt, fatty foods, and Big Gulp sodas as I want?
-
Does Obamacare
pay for eyeglasses, contact lenses, dental care, braces, and dentures?
-
Will my teeth be
as yellow and crooked as the Europeans’?
-
Do Obamacare personnel
drive me to doctors’ appointments? Can I call a cab and get reimbursed?
-
Can I have as
many shrink sessions as I want?
-
Does IRS send me a
bill?
-
If I don’t pay,
do IRS agents put me in jail, take my house, car, money in the bank, retirement
savings, furniture, and bling?
-
Does Obamacare insurance
pay for massages, mud and sulphur bath treatments for two weeks like they do in
Europe while I eat and sleep in a four star hotel?
-
Do I get breast
enlargement and plastic surgery for free like they do in South America?
-
How much are my
office visits? Can I go see my doctor as many times as I want and stay as long
as I want until he hears all my whining and real and imagined medical problems?
-
Do I get
expensive tests for free and with no waiting period?
-
If you don’t pay
for my treatment, can I go outside of the country for treatment to, let’s say,
Cuba? The MSM and Hollywood told us Cuba and Venezuela have stellar first class
care and it’s free!
-
Is there
malpractice insurance and can I sue the government if they remove my healthy
appendix or operate on the wrong foot?
-
What if I change
my mind, is there a lemon law to cancel my policy after three days if I don’t
like it?
-
Can I read the
entire policy that covers me before I sign up?
-
Can I have a copy
of the policy in all 150 languages?
-
If I don’t like
your doctors, can I keep mine if they are still in business?
Dial the number several
times, maybe you get lucky and someone from Bangladesh will pick up after you
press 2 for Spanish.
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